Totally dating and dating confessions

They even implied that I should wait until my son was 16 – only another 15 years on my own then!

Their comments made me feel that my desire for dating and sex meant I wasn’t measuring up as a mum in some way.

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Totally dating and

It might sound harsh to ditch someone because they’re happy simply cuddling on the sofa once a week, but as a single mum, my free time when I can actually leave the house is precious, and I certainly didn’t want to waste it watching telly with Tom.

I’ve been flying solo since my divorce a few years ago, not long after my son Josh*, now five, was born. I was in my early 30s, single for the first time in 10 years and, after the trauma of a failed marriage, was keen to go out, have some fun and meet new people.

What became immediately clear is that lots of people my age are like Tom – old before their time and acting like we’ve been married for 30 years.

I realise I’m not a teenager any more, but that doesn’t mean I want to fast-track to a relationship that involves arguing over the remote control when Match of The Day is on.

I want to meet for coffees in lovely cafes, enjoy walks along the beach and go on amazing nights out that don’t end until the sun comes up.

Another man I dated for a few months got annoyed that I couldn’t spontaneously go to London for a long weekend because I had Josh.

Although I had no intention of introducing any of these casual dates to my son, the fact I am a parent did make me feel differently about whom I was choosing to spend time with. I’m sure anyone who has tried online dating has come across the married people, or the guys who are actually a foot shorter, 10 years older and 3st heavier than their profile suggests.

Even if all that happened was a no-strings fling, I was still more interested in what they were like as people – did they have ambition? Well, it turns out there is a whole other layer of disappointment that someone in my position has to deal with.

That’s another part of hook-ups I’ve found difficult – someone who isn’t the father of my child (and therefore has no obligation to be kind) seeing my body.

It doesn’t get any easier as time passes, but a combination of wine, leaving some clothes on and having the lighting low works for me.

But I soon got the wind knocked out of my sails when I opened up to friends and family about my newfound love life.

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