I’d will my latest hurt, anger and indignation to the back of my mind and lock it up for a few months with the idea being that when I eventually revisited it, the hurt would have dissipated.
A habit learned in childhood where I developed a ‘wonderful’ aptitude for invalidating and/or ignoring my feelings and experiences as a coping mechanism, I still check myself before I wreck myself and make sure that I acknowledge feelings ‘currently’ instead of experiencing an onset of convenient ‘amnesia’.
If you can’t move past the depression, it’s because you’ve become stuck in the negative side of accepting that the relationship is over. If you’re not expressing it and directing it towards yourself plus it’s aggravating the unresolved hurt from the past, it may feel overwhelming and knock you for six.
I came ‘unstuck’ when I faced the ‘new’ and ‘old hurt’.
Many people have been in my situation wondering: Why am I still stuck hurting?
Long-time readers will know that my ‘old way’ of dealing with stuff was basically not dealing with it.
Years ago, I used to wonder how ‘everyone else’ could bounce back.
I was doing such a good job of burying my various hurts and distracting myself in more unavailable relationships that I became numb and trapped in a vicious cycle.
Treating you well will break the hurt cycle and you will come out the other side.
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Initially it was like a dam erupting (or like when my waters broke in labour and seemed to explode like one of those American fire hydrants – choose the image you prefer!Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating